Another One of My Parts

Journal Entry

Am I so utterly alone

in this long and tardy game of cards

or you and the you seemingly not on par

are another one of my own parts

Have you felt the motherly instinct? This strange inkling to embrace a random stranger? Have you felt at a moment in time that there exists within you boundless love? So much so that you feel as if you could give it away all and yet nothing would change and that warm fuzzing emotion fills up your insides and everyone that you look at you see with the eyes of a mother looking at their child. But just like every moment it passes away.

It is a rather curious moment nonetheless.

Motherly love is a curious love. The gratification in that love is just in the act of giving. You do not receive anything in return but the pleasure for having nourished a child and taken care of them and brought them up. The desire to be appreciated for it is always secondary, sometimes even non existent. There’s something so satisfactory for having given away a part of your unconditional love to an individual for their growth.

But what about that motherly, nurturing instinct that exists in individuals and enables them to give that regardless of relations or bonds?

That is where the problem arises.

A strongly empathetic individual has an innate desire to give and an understanding of what they give away might not be returned to them in the same terms. One can not however continue acting upon that desire with no limitations and boundaries. This is bound to lead up to emotional burnout, unfulfilling relationships and loneliness.

Infact such individuals need to build even more strict boundaries than usual people because they are naturally compliant and want to put others at ease. That makes them prone to be agreeable towards others and to avoid confrontations or not express themselves when they feel hurt.

Just because you can understand and empathise should not mean you agree with it because that is enabling toxic behaviour.

But what about the motherly instinct?

Like I began that motherly instinct has often built up within me this overwhelmingly desire to shower everyone with love and all the services I can offer. But only when I became wiser I realised that not everyone needs it. Infact it is not my place or my responsibility to give that away to give everyone any way. And regardless of what I feel in certain moments I am only a human. My supply of empathy is bound to run out at times.

The first person you need to extend out your empathy to is yourself.

That being said, what I’ve learnt from my personal experiences is that the desire to help those in need never really goes away and it needs to be indulged in when you’re empathetic or highly sensitive.

What is important then to realise is “who" you’re giving this away to. It should not be your job to be a therapist for any “relationships" you have be it friendships or romantic connections. At many times you could of course be a source of comfort for those people. That is unavoidable but you must recognize what dynamic those relationships are built on and what do those people bring to your life.

Are there people in your life that you always listen to but they never have the time when you are in need? Do you have anyone that you can confide in and trust to help you with emotional struggles?

“ Self sufficiency is inefficiency that leads to poverty.”

This stands true for emotional bankruptcy as well.

You need to realise that your empathetic spirit can be utilised for humanitarian purposes and social welfare. Those are the people that are in actual dire need for someone with such a spirit to extend their hands out to them and bring them out of times of despair. Those are the ones truly in need.

People with privileges have a certain level of responsibility for themselves. As much as it’s important for a friend, a romantic partner or a sibling to be source of comfort when times get tough you need to realise that they have a responsibility for themselves too and so do you. Your services can be a source of help to them but without boundaries you might end up sabotaging your and even their development and growth.

You can’t pour anything out of an empty cup

So don’t empty yourself up and take time to refill and only when you overflow give away sips from your cup of love.